


At Least I Loved Enough To Hurt

by bombshellblonde



Category: Shelter (2007)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:39:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bombshellblonde/pseuds/bombshellblonde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my interpretation of what happened during this glorious movie. Told from the perspective of both men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Shelter fic so I hope you all like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey you guys I recently rewatched Shelter and going back to this, I think I can do better. So chapter by chapter I am going to be doing rewrites and changes so I hope you all continue to support this story as it evolves into what I believe will be a better version of itself.

Shaun softly smiled to himself in his sleep. He had just been dreaming of Zach. Ever since their kiss the other night the boy was all Shaun thought about. He couldn't shake all of the times Zach entered his thoughts. He knew the odds of the two of them getting together were a million to one but a guy could dream right? Shaun simply couldn't help himself.

Truth be told Shaun had been hopelessly in love with Zach for 4 long years. That was the real reason he left for LA the first time. He just couldn't be around someone he was so incredibly in love with and just couldn't have, So he ran away. He met someone else, and they had a comfortable relationship. He cared for the other man but never made any promises that he didn't feel he could keep. It wasn't going to last forever, and it didn't which is the reason Shaun was back now. Sharing a place with someone and not having his name on the lease was not the wisest move he had ever made. So now he is forced to stay at his mom and step-dad's place until his new lease starts at the end of the month.

He thought he could handle being back. He thought that seeing Zach everyday would be no big deal. That after 4 years the feelings He held for the younger man had to have faded. Been dead and buried.

There is nothing in the world he had ever been more wrong about.

All of those feelings he thought were dead and buried? They were very much alive. One look at that beautiful swimmers body, marked with those smudges from paint or markers and Shaun was lost. His old feelings were suddenly fresh and new and in his face all the time. He was loosing his mind, all he wanted to do was worship that man and never let him go, wanted to hold Zach in his arms and kiss every inch of his body. Let the younger man know how beautiful and talented he was and that he was the most selfless person Shaun had ever met.

So of course he did what any moron hopelessly in love with his little brother's best friend would do.

He hung out with the object of his affection all night, had a great time, got absolutely plastered, then commenced to destroy his friendship with Zach for all eternity.

The funny thing about all of this was, AS Shaun was doing it, he knew it was the dumbest thing he could ever do. 

Under NO circumstances whatsoever should he be going around kissing his brothers straight best friend. What was he thinking? That Zach would kiss back?

Except that...Zach DID kiss him back. 

When he started kissing Zach, the younger man didn't push Shaun away. He didn't yell at Shaun and ask what the hell he was doing. Hell he didn't even look surprised. He just kissed back, even when Shaun was pulling away at the end Zach kept moving his lips like he didn't want the kiss to end.

So what was with the cold shoulder at the beach? He wouldn't even say if he was mad about what happened. He wouldn't even acknowledge that anything DID happen. He even went to far as to pull Cody away from Shaun just so he could get the hell away.

Cody. 

Now there was one special little kid. It was all thanks to Zach too. 

God knows the boys parents didn't do anything. The absent father and the mother who could give 2 shits. Zach is that boy's father. Biologically no but in every other way that counts. He loves Cody more than any father ever could. And the best part is that Cody knows it. No matter how shitty his mom is he knows Zach loves him.

There isn't a thing he wouldn't do for that kid.

Including lie about who he is and who he wants, so his sister won't take Cody away.

Shaun had heard how Zach's sister talked. She doesn't want Shaun's 'influence' around her kid. And if Zach admits to being like Shaun, then Jeanie just might decide that she doesn't want his 'influence' either. Zach would never risk it. He would never create an opportunity where the chance of loosing Cody was real.

So Shaun resolved himself to backing off. He knew that Zach would never ever put himself into that position, so he would have to suck it up. He'd be leaving soon anyway, he'd just do what he did last time. Find someone, be comfortable, and that would be the end of it. 

Shaun crossed his arms and turned on his side, trying to fall back asleep.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

'Just what I need' Shaun thought. 'A visitor' He had been laying in his clothes this whole time so he just rolled over and walked out of his bedroom.

"COMING!" He yelled as he headed for the stairs. He walked down, rubbing his eyes the whole way and opened the door. He suddenly looked up and his eyes met those of his visitor. He opened his mouth to speak but didn't even get a sound out before Zach was grabbing his neck and crashing their lips together in one hell of a kiss.

Shaun wrapped his arms around the other man's form and kicked the door closed. Zach spun them around once or twice and Shaun pushed the shorter man up against the wall finally disconnecting their lips. He pulled back and looked deeply into the other man's eyes saying one word.

"Zach."

It was a question. Many questions actually. Are you sure? Do you really want that? Is this real?

Zach answered simply by pulling Shuan's lips back to his furiously. There was no hesitation for Zach. He was a hurricane of lust. Before Shaun knew it he was being urged up the stairs, his shirt and Zach's being torn off and forgotten on the steps. 

In another second Zach was going upstairs back first, lips connected with Shaun's and hands working on the older man's belt. Shaun did the same for Zach, undoing his belt and helping him out of his pants, shoes being kicked off along the way.

In an instant the two men were in the bedroom. All forms of clothing forgotten in the path to the bed. 

Zach sat himself down onto the bed and laid down, scooting back. Shaun took a moment to look at him before he was being pulled forward by fervent hands. Zach connected their mouths again, making Shaun very very happy. 

If there was one thing he could do forever and ever it would be this, just kissing Zach. This was better than surfing the worlds greatest wave or having the longest writing session of his life. Kissing Zach was an experience like no other. 

Soon Shaun could feel Zach's hands on his ass and suddenly reality dawned on him. It had been maybe 2 minutes since Zach had been knocking at the door. This was all moving to fast. Shaun didn't want this to feel like any other fuck. He wanted Zach to feel special. This was their first time, Zach first time with another guy, so Shaun was gonna make sure to treat him right.

Everything slowed down. Shaun disconnected their lips and slowly kissed his way down Zach's body. Taking in every moment they had together. Shaun didn't know if Zach was going to wake up tomorrow and regret everything, or stay in bed with him all day for rounds 2 3 and 4. But one thing was for sure, if this was a fluke and this was the only time Shaun ever got to make love Zach, it was going to be perfect. 

This was going be slow and sensual and sweet. Fast and hard could come later if they ever got the chance. There was no way Shaun was going to let Zach forget this night because he sure as hell wasn't going to.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Zach woke up in Shaun's arms. For a moment he let himself lie there still and silent. Everything was so warm and loving, Zach felt sheltered. The night before had been beyond incredible. It was everything Zach thought it would be and more, so much more. 

When he was sitting at his workspace last night, getting up and pacing back and forth he was trying to convince himself that doing this was a bad idea. That it would ruin his friendship with Gabe and with Shaun and that everything would get messed up and crazy.

But he couldn't help himself. It was like he was being pulled toward Shaun with every breath he took, and the harder he resisted the stronger the pull became until he finally gave in and knocked on Shaun's front door.

And now Zach had actually done it. He made love with Shaun….and loved every minute of it. 

That's what it had been too. They didn't just have sex last night. I wasn't a one night stand, or a summer fuck. 

Zach could feel Shaun's love for him with every movement he made, every caress, every kiss. 

And, afterwards...Zach had never experienced that before. When Tori and him had sex he was always zipping up and zooming out right when it ended. But after their third time around (yes they went three rounds with no breaks or breathers) Shaun did something Zach would remember forever.

When they were both finished cleaned up and exhausted, Shaun took Zach his arms and just held him. Zach have never felt more safe in his whole life then he did when Shaun pulled him into that embrace. 

That was the moment that Zach stepped over the edge and felt himself starting to fall for his best friends brother.

Now that was an odd feeling for Zach. Sure he had said he loved his ex. He thought he did, but he never felt for her what he felt for Shaun last night. They simply never had that connection.

Last night, Zach completely lost himself in Shaun, the whole world faded into white light and white noise. The only thing either man could focus on was the body against their and the beating of each others hearts. They forgot everything but that moment in time. 

It had never been like that with her. With her Zach was always thinking, 'am I doing ok?' 'how is she?' what do I do next?' With her it was all technical. But being with Shaun…it was as natural as surfing. Going with the flow and finding that ultimate happiness.

That's when it finally hit him. Last night Zach made love with another man. And typically straight men (which Zach had claimed to be) don't really spend the night having sex with other men. It would have sounded really stupid if he did it out loud but Zach ran a mental test on himself.

1\. Am I still attracted to girls?- Was he ever really attracted to girls?  
2\. Am I attracted to men?- Ever since Shaun kissed him, his eyes had been wondering to the other guys at the beach.  
3\. Do I still feel attracted to my ex?- Not physically no, but he still held feelings for her. More platonic than anything though.  
4\. Do I feel attracted to Shaun? - Of course Zach was attracted to Shaun. He is so smart and passionate and kind and the swimmers body is always a plus. Who wouldn't be attracted to a man like that?

A straight guy that's who.

Before Zach could think any further, he felt Shaun stirring behind him. He reached over to stroke the arm Shaun had held him with all night.It just felt so good being in Shaun's arms, like they were made to fit together like this.

"mmm, morning." Zach heard Shaun say in a sexy groggy morning voice.

"Morning" Zach said back. He wanted nothing more then to just lay there and be held all day long. But suddenly inspiration struck him. 

Of course, he had been blocked for weeks on what to do with that bare wall and all of a sudden when he wanted to lay down and enjoy Shaun, he get this incredible idea. He needed to hurry up and paint it before he lost it.

Maybe Shaun was his muse.

"What time is it?" Zach asked. He didn't want to leave to early. Hell he didn't want to leave at all, but this had to be done.

"Why, you got somewhere to go?" Shaun asked, still holding Zach's waist. He thought Zach was running away. He needed to know that that was not what was happening. So Zach stroked Shaun's arm and layed back down in front of him, so they were nose to nose.

"Shaun, I have to go, but I'll be back okay?" Zach said, voice soft and reassuring. Shaun smiled and nodded.

"Okay." 

Zach smiled back and planted kiss on Shaun. It was meant to be soft but Shaun pulled him close and tried to deepen it. Zach pulled back smiling and laughing.

"Ah- ah very tempting, but I really have to go." Zach said dragging himself out of the bad. Shaun groaned in protest but let him go anyway, watching as Zach bent down to retrieve his boxers and enjoying the view. After Zach pulled them on he turned back towards the bed and kissed Shaun again.

"See you later." He said as sweetly as he could. Shaun just smiled and watched Zach leave the room, he walked down the stairs, gathering his clothes which were strewn about in the rush last night. He smiled to himself as he pulled his sweatshirt on and closed the door.

As he drove down the street his smile kept creeping up his face and becoming very big.

For the first time in a long time Zach was genuinely happy.


	3. Chapter 3

The brush made one final stroke across the now half painted wall Zach had been working on.

He stepped back and observed what he just created. It was good. It was really fucking good. But it wasn't done yet. Right now it was…incomplete yet perfect. It may sound conceited but Zach knew he was an awesome artist. Or a street artist at least. And when this piece was done it was going to get his fucking best work yet. And he'd make sure to get shit loads of pictures of it for his CalArts application.

When he felt he was finally done for the day he sat on the pavement looking at his work and pulled out his phone to call the person who had been the gateway drug for this masterpiece.

Shaun answered after one ring.  
"Hey babe." Said the incredibly sexy man on the other line. Zach smiled like a love sick puppy because Shaun sounded so happy and he couldn't help but hope he was the one who made him feel that way.

"Hey yourself ." Zach said, getting up and collecting his art supplies to put back in his car.

"So where did the man I had in my arms this morning suddenly disappear too?" Shaun asked. Zach smiled even bigger, if that were humanly possible as he finished packing the car and jumped into the drivers seat.

"I got inspired to create something.” Zach responded. “It was like a floodgate was opened last night. So I came down to the bare wall I've been wanting to paint, and I painted. For like three hours."

"Is it any good?" Shaun asked in a joking matter. He have no doubt it's was completely amazing. He 100% believed in Zach's skills as the next street artist Picasso.

"Well I think it looks great but I'll let you be the judge. I took a couple pictures, I'll show you them if you want too see them." Zach said as he began his short drive home.

"I want too. I really want too. I know you don't show your work to a lot of people." Shaun responded immediately. There was a moment of very comfortable silence between the two men, just enjoying each other's breathing. Finally, Shaun spoke up.

"So what do you think it was that suddenly inspired you?"

Zach blushed hard as he waited at a red light. He knew exactly what had inspired him, and he was pretty sure Shaun did too.

"Well, honestly I had some really really great sex last night,” Zach responded smirking. “Like earth shattering shit. So this morning all my creative blocks were just gone.” On the other line Shaun giggled for a moment before responding.

“Damn what a coincidence because I too had some pretty fucking mind blowing sex last night. What a small world it is.” Shaun responded tongue in cheek.

"Yeah. I was pretty fucking happy.” Zach said.

“Was?” Shaun asked.

“Yupp...and I would like to continue being happy….if that's what you want." Zach asked tentatively, some of his confidence quickly disappearing.

"Zach there's nothing I would like more than to be with you." Shaun quickly replied. He knew better then to let Zach doubt him even for a minute. Not when this was all still new to him.

"Wow you didn't even need a minute to think about that." Zach said. "I mean, are you sure?"

"Zach, I promise you when I have you here with me I will tell and show you just how sure I really am. It's too much to explain over the phone." Shaun said, tone becoming husky and seductive.

"Okay. If your in so am I, with 1 minor detail." Zach said cringing, he really hoped this next part wasn't a deal breaker.

"What would that minor detail be exactly?"

"Well, you know I'm new to this. Being...gay....that is. And even though being with you makes me insanely happy....there's some other shit in my life that's gonna need time to make the adjustment. Like Jeanie and Cody and dad, I don't think I can tell them yet and I hope you'll understand that." 

Shaun smiled softly at Zach's words. If these were the only conditions he had, the only thing holding him back, from this…thing they had, it would be easier then Shaun ever could have thought.

"Zach I completely understand. I know exactly what your going through. Knowing who you are, but needing that little bit of breathing room between you knowing and them knowing. I'm not going to push you towards the closet door, but I'll be right by your side when you choose to walk through it."

Rolling up to Zach's house and putting on the parking break he let out a sigh of relief and smiled brighter then the sun.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me. You are the absolute best boyfriend in the world." Zach said, words out of his mouth before he could process them. Shaun practically danced he was so happy. Zach just called him his boyfriend without a moments hesitation.

"You have no idea how happy you just made me." Shaun said, he could hear Zach let out a small laugh at that comment.

"I think I do have some idea. That was good then right? Like thats what we are to each other?”

“If you are asking me to be your boyfriend the answer is yes Zach.” Shaun responded. Zach smiled...again.

“Well I'll talk to you later ok? I need to shower."

"No problem. Call you later."

"You'd better." Zach joked before hanging up.


	4. Chapter 4

For the whole 5 minutes it took Zach to park, get his painting stuff out of the car and get to the front door, he got to enjoy being deliriously happy because of his talk with Shaun.

Then he walked in the door and was immediately bombarded by his overbearing, pain in the ass, bitch of a sister.

"Where the hell were you?" Jeanie demanded of Zach before she even squealed a hello. "And don't say Tory's because I called her!"

"Well hello to you too sister dear, I'm fine, yourself?" Zach said shouldering past her trying to get to his room.

"OH you think your so funny huh? Where the fuck were you?"

"Chill!" Zach yelled. "I was surfing all night."

"Again?" Jeanie asked in an annoying condescending tone. Like Zach had to ask her permission to surf or some shit.

"Yes again Jeanie!" He screamed at her. "It was breaking hard and I felt like surfing is that okay to you?"

"Actually no!" She yelled back. "I had a date last night and I needed you to watch Cody!"

"Oh god forbid his own mother watch him for one fucking night! Being a parent is hard right? I'm practically Cody's dad. I spend more time with him than you do!" Zach screamed at her, not a single regret over it because its fucking true.

"Oh I didn't realize your nephew was such a burden to you!" Jeanie argued, trying to flip the situation so that Zach would feel bad.

Normally a comment like that would be a punch in the gut. But today Zach had a confidence in him that he didn't have yesterday. Today he knew he had Shaun in his corner, he knew he was loved.

"Fuck you Jeanie!" Zach exploded, pointing a finger at her.

"You know I would die for Cody! But you're his mother! I'm allowed to go out for a couple nights and relax. Since that's what your doing all the time!"

Jeanie was dumbstruck. Zach had never stood up to her like that before. She could sense that something changed in him, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"I'm going to go take a shower." Zach finished before calmly walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

When he got out he dressed himself and went into the kitchen to make a sandwich. Three rounds of amazing sex and a few hours painting makes you work up a bit of an appetite. Jeanie came up behind him sheepishly standing in the door frame.

"H-hey." She squeaked out. "I'm sorry about before. I was just worried about you that's all. With you not coming home lately." That was so incredibly insincere Zach had no answer. So he just went on with half listening to her and making his sandwich

"Well as you can see I'm fine. The waves have been good lately, so I surf for a long time then I sleep in the back of my car." The lies roll off his tongue easily. He knew if she knew the truth he could loose Cody forever.

"Okay." Jeanie said, staring at her nails and picking at them. She waited for Zach to take a bite of his sandwich before speaking again.

"So, umm Allen told me yesterday he has a job interview coming up. It's out of town and he wants me to go with him. This weekend." Zach nodded his head. Typical Jeanie.

"So I'm guessing you need me to watch Cody?" Zach asked. Like always, Jeanie nodded.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I might have plans this weekend?" Zach snapped. Jeanie smiled at him. Like this idea was completely hilarious.

"With who?" She asked laughing. "Gabe's at school and you don't talk to Tory anymore." Zach was quiet for a moment, rage boiling inside of him.

“Who are you fucking?” Jeanie asked sarcastically. He stared her down and wanted to say Shaun but instead he brushed her off and focused on his food.

“No one.”

He just wanted to scream at her that he wanted this weekend so he could fuck his boyfriend senseless.

But he had to think ahead. If Jeanie found out he was gay she would take Cody away.

Soon Jeanie's annoying voice snapped him back to the present.

"Your gonna blow me off so you can just hang with your imaginary friends?" She asked in the bitchiest tone she could muster.

"Why don't you take your son with you?" Zach suggested, novel concept.

"Allen doesn't want to make his first impression with a kid biting at his ankles." Jeanie explained pathetically. Apparently not realizing that this was her own kid she was insulting. Zach let out an exasperated puff of air.

"I'll think about it." He said, finishing his sandwich and putting his plate in the sink. What else was he gonna say? Everyone knew that when Jeanie bailed Zach was the one who had to be there for Cody.

"Well I need to know by tomorrow." She said. Zach smiled, of course she did. He finished washing his plate and put it away. Walking past her to get to his room he answered her.

"Yeah okay. I'll let you know." Zach got to his room and locked the door behind him. He simultaneously plopped himself on the bed and picked up a paint brush. His walls needed a little more red.


	5. Chapter 5

Zach was sitting in his room painting on his wall when his cell rang around 5o'clock. He put down his brush and blushed immediately when he saw the caller ID. He would get embarrassed that just seeing Shaun's name makes him so happy if it wasn't for all the stupid butterflies in his stomach distracting him. He let it ring once or twice so he could collect himself.

"Hey" He finally said when he answered. He was positive Shaun could hear him smiling on the other line.

"Hey back." Shaun responded and Zach was hit with the thought that Shaun had an incredibly sexy voice. "I was thinking you could come over a little later and we could hang out. I can barbecue."

Zach pulled his legs up to his chest and blushed. Was Shaun asking him on a date?

"Yeah…." Zach said nervously picking at his jeans. "Yeah that sounds…"

Cue most annoying sister in the world interrupting Zach's conversation.

"Zach." She shrieked. He rolled his eyes at her. "Who's on the phone?"

"None of your business." He said to her, then he spoke into his phone.

"One second."

"Ok babe." Shaun said. Zach hid his smile at the term and put his phone on his shoulder.

"So I need to know if you can do it." Jeanie said, referring to Zach watching Cody this weekend because she wants to bail on being a parent again. "I've gotta tell Allen."

Zach dropped his head. He wanted to be with, around, inside, and consumed by Shaun so bad it hurt. He wanted to have a romantic evening eating dinner under the stars and making love until the sun came up. 

But Cody always had to come first for Zach, no matter what.

"Yeah." He told her. "Fine I'll do it." He knew that if he didn't she would just leave Cody with their father and that was worse than leaving him with nobody at all. She smiled and bounced away. Fucking bitch.

"Hey." Zach spoke into the phone, all his previous happiness washed away. "I-I can't come."

"Why?" Shaun asked, his tone sounded like he thought Zach was chickening out.

"Jeanie's leaving town, I have to watch Cody." He said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Bring him along." Shaun said happily.

"No." Zach said immediately. "I don't want to burden you like that."

"It's not a burden. I like that kid. He says some funny shit." Shaun responded with a laugh. Zach smirked a little. After all, Shaun was right. Cody is a great kid, nothing like either of his parents.

"But...I thought you wanted to…you know." Zach said, dropping his voice so that Jeanie couldn't overhear anything.

"No." Shaun said quickly. 'Ouch', Zach thought, that kind of stung.

"Oh…ok well…" Zach said, kind of unsure what to say to that.

"Wait no. Fuck that's not what I meant. Of course I want to. Your sexy as hell and I really care about you. You're my boyfriend. But this isn't a booty call. You are not just a fuck to me."

"I'm not?" Zach asked. He didn't know why, after the conversation he and Shaun had earlier he shouldn't be doubting statements like that. But he sort of needed that reassurance.

"Of course not!" Shaun said. "Is that all I am to you?"

"No!" Zach said immediately. "No not at all! You have to know your more then that to me."

"And your way more then that to me too babe." Shaun answered. The two men sat in a warm silence for a moment.

"Good." Shaun said softly, breaking the silence.

"So you bring Cody over tonight. I turn the grill on at 8. And bring a change of clothes. You guys can stay the night if we go too late."

"I don't know Shaun. Cody doesn't like waking up in strange places."

"No pressure." He said. "Just bring a change and keep it in the car? If either of you doesn't want to you don't have to stay."

Zach smiled. Shaun was being so incredibly sweet and understanding with him.

"Yeah. Yeah ok that sounds good." Zach finally agreed, already envisioning waking up in Shaun's arms again.

"See you at 8?"

"Yeah. See you then."

"Ok. Bye babe."

"Bye." Zach said softly. Did Shaun realize that he just called Zach babe like three times? The blood rushed to his crotch so fast it surprised him. He was glad Cody was somewhere else in the house so he could lock the door and take care of this problem before his date tonight. The things Shaun did to him last night flashing before his eyes. Zach had never felt this good in his entire life.


	6. Chapter 6

“Come on Coadster.” Zach said grabbing his little hand and pulling him out of the car. 

“Where are we?” The little guy asked. He kept looking around trying to find something he recognized. Zach smiled down at him. 

“We are at my friend Shaun's house. Do you remember Shaun, Gabe's older brother?”

“Yeah he was playing with me on the beach.” Cody responded, smiling at Zach. 

He wished he could tell Cody everything that was going on with Shaun and him. The little guy was like a son to Zach, he wanted to tell him how wonderful and happy Shaun made him feel. That he was in love and he hoped Cody liked Shaun because they would be seeing a lot of each other in the future (he hoped) 

But Cody would never understand it. He looked excited to see Shaun again though, which made the ten pound weight on Zach's chest lift ever so slightly. Tonight might actually go really well. 

He went up to the door and rang the bell, nervously waiting to see his man on the other side. After a moment, the door swung open and Zach's nerves were calmed as soon as his eyes locked on Shaun. He looked so handsome in a t-shirt and jeans, no shoes on and a bright beaming smile from ear to ear. He was the most beautiful man Zach had ever seen. 

“Hey boys! Welcome to Casa de Shaun!” He said brightly, gesturing the two boys inside. 

“Hi Shaun! Remember me?” Cody all but screamed. Shaun giggled and swept Cody into his arms. 

“How could I forget the coolest little dude I know?” Cody laughed and Zach smiled brightly. He had never seen Cody warm up to someone new this fast. 

“Can I look around your house? It is so HUGE!” Cody exaggerated the word by stretching his arms out as wide as they could go. Shaun just laughed and set Cody down on the floor.

“Go explore man!” Cody immediately ran up the stairs and out of sight. Zach yelled after him just to be careful before he turned to face Shaun again. He smiled and took Zach's hands in his. Zach flinched back at first but Shaun brought a hand to his lover's face and Zach relaxed into the touch, drowning in Shaun's eyes. 

“Hey” Shaun whispered to him. 

“Hey yourself.” Zach responded, Shaun's arms slid down and gently grabbed Zach by the waist.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, looking incredibly innocent, not wanting to push Zach in any way. Zach smiled back. 

“Yeah of course.” He replied. Shaun blushed and slowly brought his lips down to meet Zach's. When they finally met Zach had to seriously restrain himself and instead of jumping Shaun's bones, he simply slid his arms around the taller man's neck, enjoying the moment while it lasted. 

They stood there kissing for only a moment before they heard Cody's feet thundering down the stairs. Zach quickly broke away and took a step back from Shaun.

“Shaun your house is awesome!” Cody exclaimed.

“High praise!” Shaun responded, ruffling the small boy's hair. All three boys smiled and started to walk towards the kitchen. 

“So what would you like to eat little man?” Shaun asked, plopping Cody down on his kitchen counter.

“He'll eat anything.” Zach assured him.

“I don't think I was asking him was I?” Shaun said to Cody, making Zach laugh. Shaun looked over the small boys shoulders and spoke to Zach.

“Cold ones are in the fridge.”

“What are you drinking?” Zach asked, seeing the wine on the counter.

“Red, found a sick bottle in the cellar.”

“I'll have some of that.” Zach said. Shaun nodded and poured Zach a glass as he turned his attention back to Cody.

“So little man what will it be?” Cody started to list all of the things he wanted for dinner and Zach just stood back and watched. 

He loved how well Shaun and Cody got along. Last night Zach had a dream that Cody, Shaun, and him all lived together in this cozy little apartment. Jeanie had moved away and Zach took Cody in, refusing to let him be with her any longer. 

He remembered in the dream, Cody fell down and Shaun just came by, kissed the boo boo and wiped away his tears. They were the perfect family. 

And now, as Zach watched them together he realized that maybe someday, that dream could actually become a reality. 

\---------------------------------

After dinner, Cody passed out on the couch so Zach carried him upstairs to the guest room to take a nap. Once he closed the door, he turned around and saw Shaun standing at the top of the stairs. 

“The two of you should stay the night.” Shaun suggested walking towards Zach and taking the smaller man in his arms. 

“I don't know,” Zach said, settling into the embrace. “He doesn't really like waking up in strange places I just thought I would let him nap for a few minutes then take him home a little later.”

“Aw come on!” Shaun urged, kissing his way across Zach's shoulder to his neck. “Cody thinks this place is ultra rad and we can spend the whole weekend down on the beach.” Shaun whispered, softly biting down at the nape of Zach neck, earning a small moan. Shaun could be very persuasive when he wanted to be. Zach looked like he was considering it, so to further convince him to stay Shaun pressed himself closer to the younger man, and dropping his hands to the curve of Zach's back.

Zach leaned into the touch and moaned. Shaun knew he had won.

“Not fair” Zach spoke, half protesting, half moaning. 

“Stay.” Shaun breathed, bringing his lips to hover just above Zach's lips.

“But Cody...” Zach said, trying to stay rational but not moving his body a single inch.

“Loves it here.” Shaun cut him off, peppering light kisses all over Zach's face and finally landing on his lips softly. 

“Fine.” Zach responded between kisses. “you” kiss “win” kiss “we'll” kiss “stay.” 

“Thank you” Shaun said kissing Zach a little harder, a little deeper and starting to back them both up towards the bedroom. 

After a moment Zach kissed Shaun harder and took the lead, much like he did the night before when Shan opened the door. Had it only been one night since Shaun's world turned upside down?

As Zach kicked the bedroom door closed behind them and started to take his clothes off, Shaun decided it didn't matter if it had been on night or one thousand. Hot damn he was in love with this boy.


	7. Chapter 7

Zach was roused from a wonderful, sex induced coma by little fingers urgently tapping him on the arm. 

“Zach...Zach I'm hungry. Will you make me breakfast?” Zach cracked open his eyes to see Cody standing next to the bed, rubbing his eyes. 

It took a moment but it dawned on Zach, Cody was looking at him right now, in bed, wrapped around Shaun's body, both of them wearing nothing but a sheet. 

“Hey buddy.” Zach said, messing with Cody's bed head. “Yeah no problem I'll make you breakfast. Go wait in the kitchen I'll be right down.” 

“Mm kay,” The small boy muttered, rubbing his eyes and walking out of the room. As soon as he was out of sight Zach quickly rolled over and shook Shaun awake. 

“Shaun, Cody was just in here!” 

“Mmm is the little guy ok?” Shaun responded, slowly coming awake and seeming much too calm right now. 

“Yeah he just asked for breakfast. But he also just saw us in bed together!” Zach said, panicking and getting dressed as quickly as possible. Shaun rolled out of bed and got dressed too, but much calmer.

Suddenly Zach was regretting coming here this weekend. It was way too risky. No matter how much he wanted to be with Shaun, he needed to think about Cody first. If his mother ever found out about this she would do everything to keep Zach away from him. He was all but having a panic attack when he felt Shaun slip up behind him, holding the panicking man against his chest trying to soothe him. 

“Breathe Zach, please. I can hear the wheels spinning in your head so please try and calm them. Please don't second guess being here because honestly last night was one of the greatest nights of my life.” Shaun spun Zach around in his arms and locked their eyes together.

“I know you are worried about Jeanie finding out but we will go downstairs and we will talk to Cody about what he saw. I promise I will do anything I can to keep her from taking that amazing kid away from the only blood relative he has that gives a shit.”

There was something about the way Shaun was holding him, the way he was looking into his eyes, that made Zach believe every word he was saying. Shaun made him feel so safe and protected and...loved. He leaned in and kissed the taller man softly as a thank you. When they broke apart, Shaun slipped his hand into Zach's and they walked down to the kitchen together. At the bottom of the stairs Shaun kissed Zach's temple and released his hand. 

“You go sit with Cody, I'll make breakfast.” Shaun said, Zach sat down at the kitchen table next to Cody who was just sitting playing with a placemat. 

“What would you like for breakfast young sir?” Shaun asked heading to the oven. 

“Pancakes?” Cody asked, he was being a lot more shy then he was last night and Zach couldn't figure out if it was because he was tired or because of what he walked in on. 

“Anything you want little man.” Shaun answered him. 

“Did you sleep good buddy?” Zach asked Cody. He nodded and smiled. 

“I like it here. Shaun is so cool.” Zach blushed, stealing a glance to the beautiful man currently making pancakes. 

“Yeah he is.” 

“Is he your boyfriend?” Cody asked curiously, still playing with the placemat. Zach froze and turned slowly to examine him. Now the boy was just looking up at him seeming genuinely curious. 

“Why do you ask that dude?” Zach asked, trying to gauge exactly how much he understood about this whole thing. 

“Allen is mommy's boyfriend and they sleep in the same bed. I didn't know two boys could be boyfriends though.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Shaun finishing up the pancakes. He brought them over to the boys and sat down next to Zach. 

“What would you say if Zach and I were boyfriends little man?” Shaun asked. Cody just shrugged and dug into his pancakes. 

“Would I get to come over here more?” He asked hopefully.

“You are always welcome here dude.” Shaun answered smiling. Cody's face lit up so brightly Zach thought his cheeks were going to split. 

“Cool. Your house is awesome and your pancakes are way better then Zach's.” Zach's jaw dropped and Shaun couldn't contain his laughter. 

“I thought you loved my pancakes!” He teased Cody tickling his sides. The young boy laughed so hard he almost fell out of his chair. 

“Your eggs are better.” He said, still giggling when Zach stopped. All three of the guys settled down after a moment and Cody just stared at Shaun and Zach. He took a deep breath and grabbed Shaun's hand on top of the table, lacing their fingers together.

“Cody, Shaun and I want to tell you something. There are some people in the world that don't think that two boys should be boyfriends together. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it at all but there are a lot of people who will tell you different.” He looked to Shaun to help him and thankfully, Shun stepped in. 

“Your mommy wouldn't be very happy if she knew that Zach and I were boyfriends. So we need to ask you not to tell her. You understand bud?” 

Cody nodded

“It's like a secret?” 

“Yes,” I said. “But not a bad one.” 

“What if I have a boyfriend when I grow up? Would I have to keep that a secret from mommy?” Cody asked, just absent mindedly playing with his food. Wow, that was a question Zach hadn't expected. He looked to Shaun again and he jumped in to save Zach again. 

“Hopefully by then no body will have to keep it a secret Cody.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this story and left me Kudos or comments. I'm sorry its taking me so long in between updates but promise I will never give up on this amazing couple.

The next few weeks were like a dream. It was the most wonderful dream Zach or Shaun had ever had and they never wanted it to end. Everyday after Zach got off work and made sure Jeanie was watching Cody he drove out to Ocean Beach and escaped to his love bubble. On fridays he ended up staying over all weekend.

He and Shaun didn't always just jump right into bed though, they went surfing and to eat at The Shack, Shaun came with Zach when he felt like putting up some of his tags. He was suppose to be Zach's lookout but more often that not he found the older man staring at him as opposed to looking out for the cops.

They stole kisses out on the water, when the sea was calm and they were so far out it was like they were the only two people in the world. Then there was the night of their very first real date. Shaun had brought it up while they were laying in bed one morning.

They were staring into each others eyes, heads propped up on their arms, Shan reached out and light stroked Zach's arm. “I want to take you out tonight.”

“Sure,” Zach replied. “Do a little night surfing?”

“No,” Shaun said letting out a small laugh and letting his hand rest on the younger man's hip. “I mean I want to take you out. Like to a restaurant on a date.”

“A date?” Zach asked, eyes widening, a little taken back. “Like...like a real date? Like a couple?” Shaun let out another little laugh, moving himself closer to his lover and kissing him lightly on the nose.

“Please breathe dude, you just became a smoke outline and created a Zach shaped hole in the door.” 

Zach smiled and snuggled into Shaun's embrace, “I'm sorry it just took me by surprise. I don't think I have ever actually been on a real date.” 

“Really?” Shaun asked.

“Yeah. Tori was the only person I ever dated and we just did stupid high school stuff. Hung out at each others houses and crap.”

“That makes sense,” Shaun said. “I want to treat you though. I wanna take you somewhere nice.”

“I don't know Shaun, I don't really feel comfortable in nice places.” Zach said, breaking eye contact. Shaun raised the younger man's chin and kissed him softly. 

“Well once you are a big famous artist you are going to be invited to all sorts of fancy parties.” He whispered. Zach smiled and pushed his shoulder lightly.

“Aren't you worried someone will see us?” Zach asked, he hated that their relationship was still a secret but everything would get too complicated once word got out.

“We can go to this little bistro I know outside town. Its intimate and nice but not really fancy and the food is delicious and only slightly pretentious.”  
“Delicious and slightly pretentious, sounds like a writer I know.” Zach joked. Shaun pretended to be offended, dramatically putting his hand to his chest. He smiled after a moment and kissed Zach again.

“Come one please,” Shaun asked, rolling ontop of his lover and staring to nip at the nape of his neck. Zach laughed and tried to contain a moan.

“Why must you always resort to playing dirty?” He asked. Shaun smiled and braced his arms on either side of Zach's head. 

“Because playing dirty is fun.” He commented, grinding his hips the way he knew Zach liked.

“mmm okay fine fine! We can go to dinner!” Zach finally gave in. Shaun smiled and kissed Zach squarely on the mouth.

“I'll go make the reservation.” He said making a move to get out of the bed. Zach grabbed the man's forearms and pulled him back down.

“You are going nowhere right now. Master must not give student blue balls. Student would be very upset.”

Shaun smiled at the words, he loved that little game he and Zach played. “Master apologizes, student is right.” They kissed one more time before Shaun made his was down his partners body.

Student was very pleased.

\------ 

That night Zach went on his very first date...and it was amazing. They were far enough outside town that Zach was more comfortable holding Shaun's hand over the table and even going so far as to kiss once or twice after they pushed their chairs closer together.

Zach felt guilty however when Shaun paid the bill, he wouldn't even let Zach leave the tip. They were walking back to the car, still holding hands when Zack finally spoke up.

“Hey um...I don't want you to take this the wrong way because tonight was amazing...but you paying for me all the time kind of makes me feel weird.” 

“What do you mean babe?” Shaun asked, they reached the car and Shaun leaned up against the door, putting his arms around Zach's waist.

“I don't know, I just...I have never been able to go to nice places like this except for when I went to dinner with your family and stuff. I don't want...whatever this is to be one sided you know?” 

“Zach can I ask you something?” Zach nodded and Shaun tightened his grip incase the younger man tried to become a puff of smoke again. 

“Do you love me?”

Shaun thought that Zach would have the same stunned expression he had this morning but he didn't. In fact he answered with an extreme amount of confidence.

“Yes.” Zach said softly. Shaun could hardly contain his joy.

“I love you too babe.” The older man whispered hand coming to rest on the back of his lover's head.

“That's why this relationship couldn't be one sided. Money doesn't matter to me, all that matters is this. Shaun brought his lips down on Zach's in a loving kiss, not unlike the tender ones they shared laying in bed in the mornings.

“Do you wanna make out in the backseat for a little?” Zach asked, wrapping his arms around his lover's neck.

“Master likes student's plans. Student is very wise.”

 

There were one or two more dinners like that, but Zach's favorite part of their time together were the mornings where he got to wake up wrapped in Shaun's arms.

Everything was absolutely perfect....until Gabe came home early and ruined everything.


End file.
